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Eva. The dozen white louses do become an old coat well; it agrees well passant; it is a familiar beast to man, and signifies love.
Shal. The luce is the fresh-fish; the salt-fish is an old coat.
Eva. Yes, per-lady; if he has a quarter of your coat, there is but three skirts for yourself, in my simple conjectures; but that is all one: if fir John Falstaff have committed difparagements upon you, I am of the church, and will be glad to do my benevolence, to make atonements and compromises between you.
Shal. The council shall hear it; it is a riot.
Eva. It is not meet the council hear of a riot; there is no fear of Got in a riot: the council, look you, shall desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a riot; take you vizaments in that.
Shal. Ha! o’my life, if I were young again, the sword should end it.
Eva. It is petter that friends is the sword that end it; and there is also another device in my prain, which, peradventure, prings good discretions with it: there is Anne Page, which is daughter to master George Page, which is pretty virginity.
Šlen. Mistress Anne Page ? she has brown hair, and speaks like a woman. Eva. It is that ferry person for all the orld, as just as you
will desire; and seven hundred pounds of monies, and gold, and filver, is her grandfire upon his death's-bed (Got deliver to a joyful resurrections !) give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years. old: it were a good motion, if we leave our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage between master Abraham and mistress Anne Page.
Slen. Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound?
Eva. Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I do despise one that is false; or, as I despise one that is not true. The knight fir John is there ; and, I beseech you, be ruled by your wellwishers. I will peat the door [knocks] for master Page. What, hoa? Got bless your house here!
Enter master Page.
Eva. Here is got’s plessing, and your friend, and justice Shallow; and here's young master Slender; that, peradventures, shall tell you another tale, if matters grow to your likings.
Page. I am glad to see your worships well. I thank you for my venison, master Shallow.
Shal. Master Page, I am glad to see you; much good do it your good heart! I wish'd your venison better; it was ill kill'd. How doth good mistress Page ? and I thank you always with my heart, la; with my heart.
Page. Sir, I thank you.
Slen. How does your fallow greyhound, fir? I heard say, he was out-run on Cotfale.
Page. It could not be judg’d, sir.
Shal. That he will not; 'tis your fault, 'tis your fault; ʼtis a good dog.
Page. A cur, fir.
. Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog; can there be more said ? he is good and fair. Is fir John Falsi af here?
Page. Sir, he is within; and I would, I could do a good office
Shal, If it be confess’d, it is not redress'd; is not that fo, mafter Page? he hath wrong’d me; indeed, he hath; at a word, he hath; believe me, Robert Shallow esquire faith, he is wrong'd.
Page. Here comes fir John.
Shal. Knight, you have beaten my men, killd my deer, and broke open my lodge.
Fal. But not kiss'd your keeper's daughter.
Fal. I will answer it straight: I have done all this. That is now answer'd.
Shal. The council shall know this.
Fal. 'Twere better for you if ’twere not known in council ; you'll be laugh’d at.
Eva. Pauca verba, fir John, good worts.
Fal. Good worts? good cabbage. Slender, I broke your head: what matter have you against me?
Slen. Marry, fif, I have matter in my head against you, and against your cony-catching rascals, Bardolph, Nym, and Piftol.
Bar. You Banbury cheese !
Eva. Peace, I pray you ! now let us understand; there is three umpires in this matter, as I understand; that is, master Page, fidelicet, master Page; and there is myself, fidelicet, myself; and the third party is, lastly and finally, mine host of the garter.
Page. We three to hear it, and end it between them.
note-book, and we will afterwards ork upon the cause with as great discretions as we can.
Fal. Pistol !
Eva. The tevil and his tam! what phrase is this, he hears with ear? why, it is affectations.
Fal. Piftol, did you pick master Slender's purse ?
Slen. Ay, by these gloves, did he, or I would, I might never come in mine own great chamber again else, of seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward shovel-boards, that cost me two shilling and two pence a-piece, of Yead Miller; by these gloves.
Fal. Is this true, Pistol ?
Pift. Ha, thou mountain-foreigner! Sir John, and master mine,
Slen. By these gloves, then 'twas he.
Nym. Be advis’d, sir, and pass good humours: I will say, marry trap with you, if you run the nuthooks-humour on me; that is the
note of it. Slen. By this hat, then he in the red face had it; for though I cannot remember what I did when you made me drunk, yet I am not altogether an ass.
Fal. What say you, Scarlet and John?
Bard. Why, fir, for my part, I say, the gentleman had drunk himself out of his five sentences.
Eva. It is his five senses: fie, what the ignorance is !
Bard. And being fap, fir, was, as they say, cashier'd; and so conclusions past the car-eires.
Slen. Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but ’tis no matter; I'll never be drunk whilft I live again, but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick: if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have the fear of god, and not with drunken knaves.
* Nuthook was a word of reproach in the vulgar way and in the cant-strain. In the second part of Hen. IV. Dol Tearfheet Jays to the beadle, Núthook, Nuthook ! you lie. Probably it was a name given to a bailiff or catchpole, very odious to the common people.
Eva. So got udg me, that is a virtuous mind.
Enter mistress Anne Page, with wine.
[Exit Anne Page. Slen. O heav'n! this is mistress Anne Page.
Enter mistress Ford and mistress Page. Page. How now, mistress Ford ?
Fal. Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well met; by your leave, good mistress.
[Killing her. Page. Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome: come, we have a hot venison pasty to dinner; come, gentlemen, I hope, we shall drink down all unkindness.
[Exe. Fal. Page, 8°C.
SC EN E IV.
Simp. Book of riddles! why, did you not lend it to Alice Shortcake
upon Albollowmas laft, a fortnight afore Martlemas? Shal. Come, coz, come, coz; we stay for you: a word with you, coz: marry, this, coz; there is, as 'twere, a tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by fir Hugh here: do you understand me?
Slen. Ay, sir, you fháll find me reasonable: if it be so, I shall do that is reason.
Shal. Nay, but understand me.
Eva. Give ear to his motions, master Slender : I will description the matter to you, if you be capacity of it.