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the report of the unfortunate passage lately formed by sir John Heidon, it pleased the lord : happened between the lord Bruce and myself, Bruce to choose my own, and then, past expect

which, as they are spread here, so I may justly ation, he told him that he found himself so far fear they reign also where you are. There are behind-hand, as a little of my blood would not but two ways to resolve doubts of this nature; serve his turn; and therefore he was now re. by oath or by sword. The first is due to magis solved to have me alone, because he knew (for trates, and communicable to friends; the other I will use his own words)

" that so worthy a to such as maliciously slander and impudently gentleman, and my friend, could not endure to defend their assertion. Your love, not my me stand by and see him do that which he must, rit, assure me you hold me your friend, which to satisfy himself and his honour.” Hereupon esteem I am much desirous to retain. Do me sir John Heidon replied, that such intentions therefore the right to understand the truth of were bloody and butcherly, far unfitting so no. that; and in my behalf inform others, who ble a personage, who should desire to bleed either are, or may be infected with sinister ru- for reputation, not for life; withal adding, he mours, much prejudicial to that fair opinion I thought himself injured, being come thus far, desire to hold amongst all worthy persons. And now to be prohibited from executing those hoon the faith of a gentleman, the relation I shall nourable offices he came for. The lord for give is neither more nor less than the bare answer, only reiterated his former resolutions; truth. The inclosed contains the first citation, whereupon, sir John leaving him the sword he sent me from Paris by a Scotch gentleman, who had elected, delivered me the other, with his delivered it to me in Derbyshire at my father. determinations. The which, not for matter, in-law's house. After it, follows my then an. but manner, so moved me, as though to my reswer, returned him by the same bearer. The membrance, I had not of a long while eaten next is my accomplishment of my first promise, more liberally than at dinner, and therefore being a particular assignation of place and unfit for such an action (seeing the surgeons weapons, which I sent by a servant of mine, by hold a wound upon a full stomach much more post, from Rotterdam, as soon as I landed there. dangerous than otherwise) I requested my se. The receipt of which, joined with an acknow- cond to certify him, I would presently decide ledgment of my too fair carriage to the de. the difference, and therefore he should presently ceased lord, is testified by the last, which periods meet me on horseback, only waited on by our the business until we met at Tergosa in Zea- surgeons, they being unarmed. Together we land, it being the place allotted for rendezvous; rode, but one before the other, some twelve where he, accompanied with one Mr. Crawford, score, about two English miles : and then pasan English gentleman, for his second, a sur-sion having so weak an enemy to assail, as my geon, and a man, arrived with all the speed he direction, easily became victor, and using his could. And there having rendered himself, I power, made me obedient to his commands. I addressed my second, sir John Heidon, to let being verily mad with anger the lord Bruce him understand, that now all following should should thirst after my life with a kind of as. be done by consent, as concerning the terms suredness, seeing I had come so far and needwhereon we should fight, as also the place. To lessly, to give him leave to regain his lost re.

our seconds we gave power for their appoint- putation'; I bade him alight, which, with all i ments, who agreed we should go to Antwerp, willingness he quickly granted, and there in a

from thence to Bergen-op-Zoom, where in the meadow, ankle deep in water at the least, bid. midway but a village divides the States' terri- ding farewell to our doublets, in our shirts began tories from the archduke's. And there was the to charge each other; having afore commanded destined stage, to the end that having ended, he our surgeons to withdraw themselves a pretty that could, might presently exempt himself distance from us, conjuring them besides, as

from the of the country, by retiring into they respected our favours, or their own safe. 5 the dominion not offended. It was farther con. ties, not to stir, but suffer us to execute our

cluded, that in case any should fall or slip, that pleasures : we being fully resolved (God forgive i then the combat should cease, and he whose ill us !) to despatch each other by what means we

fortune had so subjected him, was to acknow. could; I made a thrust at my enery, but was : ledge his life to have been in the other's hands. short, and in drawing back my arm I received

But in case one party's sword should break, a great wound thereon, which I interpreted as because that could only chance by hazard, il a reward for my short shooting; but in revenge was agreed that the other should take no ad. I pressed in to him, though I then missed him vantage, but either then be made friends, or else also, and then received a wound in my right upon even terms go to it again. Thus these pap, which passed level through my body, and conclusions being each of them related to his almost to my back. And there we wrestled for party, was by us both approved, and assented the two greatest and dearest prizes we could to

. Accordingly we embarked for Antwerp. ever expect trial for, honour and life. In which And by reason, my lord, as I conceive, because struggling my hand having but an ordinary he could not handsomely, without danger or glove on it, lost one of her servants, though the discovery, had not paired the sword I sent him meanest, which hung by a skin, and to sight to Paris; bringing one of the same length, but yet remaineth as before, and I am put in hope twice as broad; my second excepted against it, one day to recover the use of it again. But at and advised me to match my own, and send him last, breathless, yet keeping our holds, there the choice, which I obeyed; it being, you know, passed on both sides propositions of quitting the challenger's privilege to elect his weapon. each other's sword. But when amity was dead, At the delivery of the sword, which was per. I confidence could not live; and who should quit

first was the question; which on neither part | reported of him in their parts, that he is silenced either would perform, and restriving again by authority; another informs me, that he hears afresh, with a kick and a wrench together, I he was sent for by a messenger, who had orders freed my long captivated weapon; which in. to bring him away with all his papers, and that continently levying at his throat

, being master upon examination he was found to contain sestill of his, I demanded, if he would ask his life, veral dangerous things in his maw. I must not or yield his sword; both which, though in that omit another report which has been raised by imminent danger, he bravely denied to do. such as are enemies to me and my lion, namely, Myself being wounded, and feeling loss of blood, that he is starved for want of food, and that he having three conduits running on me, began to has not had a good meal's meat for this fortmake me faint; and he courageously persisting night. I do hereby declare these reports to be not to accord to either of my propositions; re- altogether groundless; and since I am contra. membrance of his former bloody desire, and dicting common fame, I must likewise acquaint feeling of my present estate, I struck at his the world, that the story of a two hundred heart, but with his avoiding missed my aim, yet pound bank-bill being conveyed to me through passed through the body, and drawing through the mouth of my lion has no foundation of truth my sword re-passed it through again, through in it. The matter of fact is this, my lion has another place; when he cried, “Oh, I am not roared for these twelve days past, by reason slain !" seconding his speech with all the force that his prompters have put very ill words in he had to cast me. But being too weak, after his mouth, and such as he could not utter with I had defended his assault, I easily became common honour and decency. Notwithstanding master of him, laying him on his back; when the admonitions I have given my correspond being upon him, I redemanded if he would re-ents, many of them have crammed great quan. quest his life, but it seemed he prized it not at tities of scandal down his throat, others have 80 dear a rate to be beholding for it, bravely re- choked him with lewdness and ribaldry. Some plying, "he scorned it.” Which answer of his of them have gorged him with so much nonwas so noble and worthy, as I protest I could sense that they have made a very ass of him, not find in my heart to offer him any more vio- On Monday last, upon examining, I found him lence, only keeping him down until at length an arrant French tory, and the day after a viruhis surgeon afar off, cried out, “ he would im. lent whig. Some have been so mischievous as mediately

. die if his wounds were not stopped." to make him fall upon his keeper, and give me Whereupon I asked if he desired his surgeon very reproachful language; but as I have proshould come, which he accepted of; and somised to restrain him from hurting any man's being drawn away, I never offered to take his reputation, so my reader may be assured that I sword, accounting it inhuman to rob a dead myself shall be the last man whom I will suffer man, for so I held him to be. This thus ended, him to abuse. However, that I may give gene. I retired to my surgeon, in whose arms after I ral satisfaction, I have a design of converting a had remained a while for want of blood, I lost room in Mr. Button's house to the lion's library, my sight, and withal as I then thought, my life in which I intend to deposit the several packets also. But strong water and his diligence quick- of letters and private intelligence which I do ly recovered me, when I escaped a great danger. not communicate to the public. These manuFor my lord's surgeon, when nobody dreamt of scripts will in time be very valuable, and may it, came full at me with his lord's sword; and afford good lights to future historians who shall had not mine with my sword interposed him- give an account of the present age. In the self, I had been slain by those base hands; al mean while, as the lion is an animal which has though my lord Bruce, weltering in his blood, a particular regard for chastity, it has been oband past all expectation of life, conformable to served that mine has taken delight in roaring all his former carriage, which was undoubtedly very, vehemently against the untuckered neck, noble, cried out, “Rascal! hold thy hand.” So and, as far as I can find by him, still deter may I prosper as I have dealt sincerely with you' mined to roar louder, and louder, until that in this relation; which I pray you, with the in- irregularity be thoroughly reformed. closed letter, deliver to my lord chamberlain. And &c. Yours,

"Good MR. IRONSIDE, I must acquaint you, EDWARD SACKVILLE.' for your comfort, that your lion is grown a kind 'Louvain, the 8th of Sept. 1613.'

of bull-beggar among the women where I live When my wife comes home late from cards, or

commits any other enormity, I whisper in her No. 134.] Friday, August 14, 1713.

ear, partly between jest and earnest, that " I will tell the lion of her.” Dear sir, do not let

them alone until you have made them put on Matronæ præter faciem nil cernere possis. their tuckers again. What can be a greater Cætera, ni Catia est, demissa veste tegentis.

sign, that they themselves are sensible they bave In virtuous dames you see their face alone: stripped too far, than their pretending to call a None show the rest but women of the town. bit of linen which will hardly cover a silver

groat, their modesty-piece? It is observed, that My lion having given over roaring for some this modesty-piece still sinks lower and lower; time, I find that several stories have been spread and who knows where it will fix at last ? abroad in the country to his disadvantage. One • You must know, sir, I am a Turkey mer. of my correspondents tells me, it is confidently chant, and I lived several years in a country

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Hor. Lib. 1. Sat. ii. 94.


Hor. Lib. 3. Od. xxix. 54.

where the women show nothing but their eyes.

No. 135.]

Saturday, August 15, 1713. Upon my return to England I was almost out of countenance to see my pretty country-women

Virtute me involvolaying open their charms with so much liberal. ity, though at that time many of them were

-Virtue, though in rags, will keep me warm. concealed under the modest shade of the tucker.

Dryden. I soon after married a very fine woman, who A GOOD conscience is to the soul what health always goes in the extremity of the fashion. I is to the body; it preserves a constant ease and was pleased to think, as every married man must serenity within us, and more than countervails be, that I should make daily discoveries in the all the calamities and afflictions which can posa dear creature, which were unknown to the rest sibly befall us. I know nothing so hard for a of the world. But since this new airy fashion generous mind to get over as calumny and reis come up, every one's eye is as familiar with proach, and cannot find any method of quieting her as mine ; for I can positively affirm, that the soul under them, besides this single one, of her neck is grown eight inches within these our being conscious to ourselves that we do not three years. And what makes me tremble deserve them. when I think of it, that pretty foot and ankle I have been always mightily pleased with are now exposed to the sight of the whole world, that passage in Don Quixote, where the fantas. which made my very heart dance within me, tical knight is represented as loading a gentle. when I first found myself their proprietor. As man of good sense with praises and eulogiums. in all appearance the curtain is still rising, I Upon which the gentleman makes this reflection find a parcel of rascally young fellows in the to himself: How grateful is praise to human neighbourhood are in hopes to be presented with nature! I cannot forbear being secretly pleased some new scene every day.

with the commendations I receive, though I am • In short, sir, the tables are now quite turned sensible it is a madman that bestows them on upon me. Instead of being acquainted with me. In the same manner, though we are often her person more than other men, I have now sure that the censures which are passed upon the least share of it. When she is at home she us are uttered by those who know nothing of is continually muffled up, and concealed in us, and have neither means nor abilities to form mobs, morning gowns, and handkerchiefs; but a right judgment of us, we cannot forbear being strips every afternoon to appear in public. For grieved at what they say. aught I can find, when she has thrown aside In order to heal this infirmity, which is so half her clothes, she begins to think herself natural to the best and wisest of men, I have half drest. Now, sir, if I may presume to say taken a particular pleasure in observing the 80, you have been in the wrong to think of re. conduct of the old philosophers, how they bore forming this fashion, by showing the immodesty themselves up against the malice and detraction of it. If you expect to make female proselytes, of their enemies. you must convince them, that if they would get The way to silence calumny, says Bias, is to husbands, they must not show all before mar- be always exercised in such things as are praise. riage. I am sure, had my wife been dressed worthy. Socrates, after having received senbefore I married her as she is at present, she tence, told his friends, that he had always acwould have satisfied a good half of my curiosity: customed himself to regard truth and not Many a man has been hindered from laying out censure, and that he was not troubled at his his money on a show, by seeing the principal condemnation, because he knew himself free figure of it hung out before the door. I have from guilt. It was in the same spirit that he often observed a curious passenger so attentive heard the accusations of his two great adver. to these objects which he could see for nothing, saries, who had uttered against him the most that he took no notice of the master of the show, virulent reproaches. Anytus and Melitus, says who was continually crying out, “Pray, gentle he, may procure sentence against me, but they walk in."

cannot hurt me. This divine philosopher was 'I have told you at the beginning of this let so well fortified in his own innocence, that he ter, how Mahomet's she-disciples are obliged to neglected all the impotence of evil tongues which cover themselves; you have lately informed us were engaged in his destruction. This was from the foreign newspapers of the regulations properly the support of a good conscience, that which the pope is now making among the Ro. contradicted the reports which had been raised man ladies in this particular; and I hope, our against him, and cleared him to himself. British dames, notwithstanding they have the Others of the philosophers rather choose to finest skins in the world, will be content to show retort the injury by a smart reply, than thus to no more of them than what belongs to the face disarm it with respect to themselves. They and to the neck, properly speaking. Their being show that it stung them, though at the same fair is no excuse for their being naked. time they had the address to make their aggres

• You know, sir, that in the beginning of last sors suffer with them. Of this kind was Ariscentury, there was a sect of men among us, who totle's reply to one who pursued him with long called themselves Adamites, and appeared in and bitter invectives. • You,' says he, who are public without clothes. This heresy may spring used to suffer reproaches, utter them with deup in the other sex, if you do not put a timely light; I who have not been used to utter them stop to it, there being so many in all public take no pleasure in hearing them.' Diogenes places, who show so great an inclination to be was still more severe on one who spoke ill of Eveites. I am, sir, &c.'

him: "Nobody will believe you when you speak


ill of me, any more than they would believe me him; and in a word, all things conspire to make should I speak well of you.'

his sick bed grievous and uneasy; nothing can In these, and many other instances I could then stand up against all these ruins, and speak produce, the bitterness of the answer sufficiently life in the midst of death, but a clear conscience. testifies the uneasiness of mind the person was . And the testimony of that shall make the under who made it. I would rather advise my comforts of heaven descend upon his weary reader, if he has not in this case the secret con head, like a refreshing dew, or a shower upon solation, that he deserves no such reproaches as a parched ground. It shall give him some live. are cast upon him, to follow the advice of Epic. ly earnests, and secret anticipations of his aptetus : 'If any one speaks ill of thee, consider proaching joy. It shall bid his soul go out of whether he has truth on his side; and if so, re- the body undauntedly, and lift up his head with form thyself, that his censures may not affect confidence before saints and angels. Surely the thee.' When Anaximander was told, that the comfort which it conveys at this season,

is some. very boys laughed at his singing; · Ay,' says thing bigger than the capacities of mortality

, he, then I must learn to sing better. But of mighty and unspeakable, and not to be under. all the sayings of philosophers which I have stood until it comes to be felt. gathered together for my own use on this occa- · And now, who would not quit all the plea. sion, there are none which carry in them more sures, and trash, and trifles, which are apt to candour and good sense than the two following captivate the heart of man, and pursue the ones of Plato. Being told that he had many ene greatest rigours of piety, and austerities of a mies who spoke ill of him ; . It is no matter,' said good life, to purchase to himself such a conhe, "I will live so that nore shall believe them.' science, as at the hour of death, when all the Hearing at another time that an intimate friend friendship in the world shall bid him adieu, and of his had spoken detractingly of him; • I am the whole creation turn its back upon him, sure he would not do it,' says he, “if he had not shall dismiss the soul and close his eyes with some reason for it.' This is the surest as well that blessed sentence, “well done, thou good as the noblest way of drawing the sting out of a and faithful servant, enter thou into the joy of reproach, and a true method of preparing a man thy Lord !" ! for that great and only relief against the pains of calumny, 'a good conscience.'

I designed in this essay to show that there is no happiness wanting to him who is possessed

No. 136.)

Monday, August 17, 1713. of this excellent frame of mind, and that no person can be miserable who is in the enjoyment

Noctes atque dies patet atri janua ditis.

Virg. Æn. vi. 127. of it: but I find this subject so well treated in

The gates of death are open night and day. one of Dr. South's sermons, that I shall fill this

Dryden. Saturday's paper with a passage of it, which cannot but make the man's heart burn within Some of our quaint moralists have pleased him, who reads it with due attention.

themselves with an observation, that there is That admirable author, having shown the vir. but one way of coming into the world, but a tue of a good conscience in supporting a man thousand to go out of it. I have seen a fanciful under the greatest trials and difficulties of life, dream written by a Spaniard, in which he in. concludes with representing its force and effi- troduces the person of Death metamorphosing cacy in the hour of death.

himself, like another Proteus, into innumerable • The third and last instance in which, above shapes and figures. To represent the fatality all others, this confidence towards God does of fevers and agues, with many other distem. most eminently show and exert itself, is at the pers and accidents that destroy the life of man, time of death; which surely gives the grand op. Death enters first of all in a body of fire; a litportunity of trying both the strength and worth tle after he appears like a man of snow, then of every principle. When a man shall be just rolls about the room like a cannon-ball, then lies about to quit the stage of this world, to put off on the table like a gilded pill; after this he transhis mortality, and to deliver up his last accounts forms himself of a sudden into a sword, then to God; at which sad time his memory shall dwindles successively to a dagger, to a bodkin, serve him for little else but to terrify him with to a crooked pin, to a needle, to a hair. The a frightful review of his past life, and his for. Spaniard's design by this allegory, was to show mer extravagances stripped of all their pleasure, the many assaults to which the life of man is but retaining their guilt: what is it then that exposed, and to let his reader see that there was can promise him a fair passage into the other scarce any thing in nature so very mean and world, or a comfortable appearance before his inconsiderable, but that it was able to overcome dreadful Judge when he is there? Not all the him, and lay his head in the dust. I remember friends and interests, all the riches and honours monsieur Pascal, in his reflections on Provi under heaven, can speak so much as a word for dence, has this observation upon Cromwell's him, or one word of comfort to him in that con- death. That usurper, says he, who had destroy; dition; they may possibly reproach, but they ed the royal family in his own nation, who had cannot relieve him.

made all the princes of Europe tremble, and • No, at this disconsolate time, when the busy struck a terror into Rome itself, was at last tempter shall be more than usually apt to vex taken out of the world by a fit of the gravel. An and trouble him, and the pains of a dying body atom, a grain of sand, says he, that would have to hinder and discompose him, and the settle. been of no significancy in any other part of the ment of worldly affairs to disturb and confound | universe, being lodged in such a particular

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Old age

sanctus haberi

place, was an instrument of Providence to bring | Frighted out of his wits by a headless about the most happy revolutions, and to remove dog with saucer eyes

1 from the face of the earth this troubler of man. Of October

25 kind. In short, swarms of distempers are every Broke a vein in bawling for a knight of where hovering over us; casualties, whether at the shire

1 home or abroad, whether we wake or sleep, sit Old women drowned upon trial of witch. or walk, are planted about us in ambuscade; craft

3 every element, every climate, every season, all Climbing a crow's nest

1 nature is full of death.

Chalk and green apples

4 There are more casualties incident to men Led into a horse-pond by a will of the than women, as battles, sea-voyages, with seve. wisp

1 ral dangerous trades and professions that often Died of a fright in an exercise of the prove fatal to the practitioners. I have seen a trained bands

1 treatise written by a learned physician, on the Over-eat himself at a house-warming 1 distempers peculiar to those who work in stone By the parson's bull

2 or marble. It has been therefore observed by Vagrant beggars worried by the squire's curious men, that upon a strict examination house-dog

2 there are more males brought into the world Shot by mistake

1 than females. Providence, to supply this waste Of a mountebank doctor in the species, has made allowances for it by a Of the merry-andrew

1 suitable redundancy in the male sex. Those Caught her death in a wet ditch who have made the nicest calculations have

100 found, I think, that taking one year with an. Foul distemper

0 other, there are about twenty boys produced to nineteen girls. This observation is so well grounded, that I will at any time lay five to four, that there appear more male than female infants in every weekly bill of mortality. And

No. 137.]

Tuesday, August 18, 1713. what can be a more demonstrative argument of the superintendency of Providence ? There are casualties incident to every parti.

Justitiæque tenax, factis dictisque mereris?
Agnosco procerem-

Juv. Sat. viii. 24, cular station and way of life. A friend of mine

Convince the world that you're devout and true, was once saying, that he fancied there would

Be just in all you say, in all you do; be something new and diverting in a country Whatever be your birth, you're sure to be

A peer of the first quality to me. Stepney. bill of mortality. Upon communicating this hint to a gentleman who was then going down HORACE, Juvenal, Boileau, and indeed the to his seat, which lies at a considerable distance greatest writers in almost every age, have ex, from London, he told me he would make a col. posed with all the strength of wit and good lection, as well as he could, of the several deaths sense, the vanity of a man's valuing himself that had happened in his country for the space upon his ancestors, and endeavoured to show of a whole year, and send them up to me in the that true nobility consists in virtue, not in birth. form of such a bill as I mentioned. The reader With submission, however, to so many great will here see that he has been as good as his althorities, I think they have pushed this matpromise. To make it the more entertaining, he ter a little too far. We ought, in gratitude, lo has set down, among real distempers, some ima. honour the posterity of those who have raised ginary ones, to which the country people ascribe either the interest or reputation of their counthe deaths of some of their neighbours. I shall try; and by whose labours we ourselves are extract out of them such only as seem almost more happy, wise, or virtuous, than we should peculiar to the country, laying aside fevers, a po- have been without them. Besides, naturally plexies, small-pox, and the like, which they have speaking, a man bids fairer for greatness of un conimon with towns and cities.

soul, who is the descendant of worthy ances. Of a six-bar gate, fox-hunters

4 tors, and has good blood in his veins, than one Of a quick-set hedge

2 who is come of an ignoble and obscure parent. Two duels, viz.

age. For these reasons, I think a man of merit, First, between a frying-pan and a

who is derived from an illustrious line, is very pitch-fork

i justly to be regarded more than a man of equal Second, between a joint-stool and a merit, who has no claim to hereditary honours,

1 Nay, I think those who are indifferent in themBewitched

13 selves, and have nothing else to distinguish them Of an evil tongue

9 but the virtues of their forefathers, are to be Crossed in love

7 looked upon with a degree of veneration, even Broke his neck in robbing a hen-roost 1 upon that account, and to be more respected Cut finger turned to a gangrene by an

than the common run of men who are of low old gentlewoman of the parish

1 and vulgar extraction. Surfeit of curds and cream

2 After having thus ascribed due honours to Took cold sleeping at church

11 birth and parentage, I must however take noOf a sprain in his shoulder by saving his tice of those who arrogate to themselves more dog at a bull-baiting

1 honours than are due to them on this account. Lady B-—'s cordial water

2 The first are such who are not enough sensible Knocked down by a quart bottle 1 that vice and ignorance taint the blood, and that 2 A


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