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A woman's tear-drop melts, a man's half shown naked in company, but his sears,
Lordship pulls the very robe de chamLike molten lead, as if you thrust a pike bre from both men and women, and goes in
on with his exposure as smirkingly His heart to force it out, for (to be shorter)
as a barrister cross-questioninga chamTo them 'tis a relief, to us a torture.
ber maid in a case of crim. con. This, “And she would have consoled, but knew as nobody can approve, I must confess, not how;
is very bad, and I give you full liberty, Having no equals, nothing which had e'er Christopher, to drub him well for it light Infected her with sympathy till now,
in your next. You may also introduce And never having dreamt what 'twas to
a few parenthetical notices respecting bear Da Aught of a serious sorrowing kind, although
the three hundred and fifty ricketty There might arise some pouting petty care
stanzas, of which he ought, as a verseTo cross her brow, she wonder'd how so
maker, to feel as much ashamed as
any carpenter ever did of a slovenly Her eyes another's eye could shed a tear. piece of work.
But in your flagel“ But nature teaches more than power can
sation, be not so peremptory as you
sometimes are.-Lord Byron may spoil, And, when a strong although a strange
have his faults,--you may have your sensation,
own, my good friend, but there is Beton Moves-female hearts are such a genial soil
some difference between constitutional For kinder feelings, whatsoe'er their errors, and evil intentions, and propennation,
sities,-it is harsh to ascribe to wicked They naturally pour the wine and oil, motives what may be owing to the Samaritans in every situation ;
temptations of circumstances, or the * And thus Gulleyaz, though she knew not headlong impulse of passion. Even why,
the worst habits should be charitably Felt an odd glistening moisture in her eye.” considered, for they are often the re
What ensued I have not time at pre- sult of the slow, but irresistible force
sent to tell, I must refer you to the of nature, over the artificial manners d's book itself, for I hear the postman's and discipline of society,--the flowing be bell passing the end of the street, and stream that wastes away its embank
he will be here before I can say half of ments. We know not what sins the in to what I would. I have, however, gi- worst men have mastered, when we
ven enough from the poem to convince condemn them for the crime that subyou that Byron's powers are in no de- jects them to punishment. Man togree abated, and that there is some wards his fellow-man, should be at tendency to an improvement of man- least compassionate, for he can be no hers, in the manner, of this, in so judge of the instincts and the impulmany respects, felicitous work. It will ses of action, he can only see effects. certainly help to redeem his poeti
66 Tremble thou wretch cal reputation from the effects of that That hast within thee undivulged crimes, lumbering mass of waggon-wheeled Unwhipped of justice: Hide thee, thou
“ The Doge." But to bloody hand; those who suspect him of “a strange Thou perjured, and thou simular mar of design,
virtue Against the creed and morals of the land, That art incestuous : Catiff, to pieces shake,
And trace it in this poem every line," Who, under covert and convenient seeming, it will be found as bad as ever ; in. Hath practised on man's life! Close deed, with all my own partiality,
pent-up guilts Christopher, for this singularly gifted Rive your concealing continents, and cry nobleman, I dare not venture to
These dreadful summoners grace." approve of some of his allusions in these cantos. He shows his knowledge
In short, Christopher, look to thyof the world too openly; and it is no ri
self, and believe me truly yours, extenuation of this freedom that he
HARRY FRANKLIN. is does it playfully. Only infants can be Berkley Square, Thursday. .
Die blank verse,
AN EXPOSTULATORY ROUND-ROBIN FROM FOURTEEN CONTRIBUTORS.
BELOVED CHRISTOPHER, hastily dealt with, if he grudged his Certain individuals, not acting in time and attendance, by decreeing a concert, having betaken themselves, summary rejection of any thing, so it according to your prescription, to the was rather a tedious business. We seaside, it was found, by an indescri- have got through all the compositions bable sort of freemasonry, that each of the party written and transmitted was labouring under the same distress, previously to the 15th July, subsequent ing symptoms of one species of the ones being pronounced inadmissible at love of fame, aggravated to an inter- our sittings, lest they might never termittent fever by a constipation or im- minate; for we found that many proper secretion of their several pro- while our elder-born were coram
judice, ductions in your escritoire. We there- helped off the weary time by another fore form a little knot of fellow-suf- literary parturition. An end was made ferers in the same way, although in- of the committee at last-essay, tale, deed we are but a mere frustum from and letter, song, sonnet, canto, and that “ immense body of mankind pastoral, vanished one by one, with our which forms the mass of your contri- painstaking mark of approbation or butors”- -a mere block or two of the condemnation affixed to it. Persons stately pile which is growing under not well acquainted with the circumyour architectonic skill. Having been stances may think us partial, and so all disappointed of relief from the short we may be individually, each to his or statement you made in your July her own performance, but that solemn Number, when there was a chance quorum, from which the immediate that you would be explicit, we have at author was excluded, scanned with last determined to lay our complaints severer eyes the labours of their absent before you. We have conferred with competitor, in which condition every one another, and each has submitted one by turns was placed. Where we to all the rest the compositions of his commend we have done it from a sense or her’s, which are lying in your hands, of justice; and where we found reason and they have been taken into impar- to reject, those compositions are entiretial consideration. We trust we have ly passed over in the present statement. herein acted ingenuously, honestly, Having thus explained ourselves, we and honourably. Each author laid trust that the aggregate commendation down a copy of such articles as are of so impartial a body will induce you, candidates for entrance in your Maga- if not to introduce the articles, discrizine, and it was made a sine qui non minated beneath, into your Magazine, that the writer should be absent while yet at least to give them the preference the rest heard the work read, and then of a decision, discussed it, and passed sentence on it ;
(Signed) each of us in succession thereby be- DOMESTICUS. H. Twitch. coming examiner and examinee. A X.
P. P. perpetual board of green cloth, with M. MNIP.
ALICE FILD. interchangeable claimants and referees, M. O. M.
V. D. B. thus sat for more than a month; and P. Q. R.
OMICRON. as many of the articles were of great PHILOLIMNESTES. LAURA. length, and each member too fearful VIATOR.
Crux.(1.) that his own progeny might be over
(1.) As Mr Ballantyne would find it difficult to get into our page a circle of sufficient diameter to contain the address with the names of our fourteen well-beloved contributors, sticking on the outer edge like the monsters of the zodiac about a globe, we have given orders that it be printed in the ordinary manner; and though we must of necessity put some signatures before, and some after others, yet to all and singular the circumscribers, the rights and immunities enjoyed in the round-robin shape of address are hereby guaranteed without let or gainsay ; wherefore the public is warned, that Mr Domesticus, the foremost man, is not more of a ring-leader in this business than Mr and Mrs Crux the lattermost, nor are Messrs Viator and Twitch, though now holding a middle station. less worthy of being the anteriors, or posteriors, in the array, than the gentry aforesaid For this Note, and for the others following, we announce, according to editorial usage, tha we hold ourselves responsible ; since we differ in some measure from the autocritical junt who are willing to dictate to us, hitherto held to be autocratorical in this department. C. N “Hearth-Rug and Fender Prompt- by an easy transfer or commutation, it ings,” Nos. I. II. III. by Domesticus. may be included among those of“ Ima-Although Shakespeare said, "home- gination;" signed Philolimnestes.-A keeping youths have ever homely wits,” gem of the first water. (5.) these essays bear no marks of it; they “Sonnet on seeing some dead frogs seem to us to possess strong claims to galvanized ; with a Supplementary your regard, for they surpass Mr Leigh Half-Sonnet, being the overflow of the Hunt's celebrated « Day by the Fire- images and feelings which it was found side."(2.)
impossibie to compress within four“Future Times of Yore,"-X. By teen lines,” by Hortentius Twitch.no ordinary hand.”(3.)
Deep-thoughted, nervous, and imagi“On the moral and intellectual ten- native. (6.) dency of pincushion-making,” by Mi- Specimens of Euclid's Elements nimus M‘Nip, Fell. Phil. Soc. Ups. in Madrigals,” like Ovide en RonDowns, Cork, Lead, &c. &c. A cu- deaux, signed P. P.-Ingenious, perrious but somewhat subordinate ques- haps useful. (7.) tion in Political Economy, ably and is SHILLING FARES; or the sights luminously investigated and demon- seen, characters observed, conversastratively settled.
tions heard, pleasures enjoyed, and “ The Imperturbable Patten-ma- accidents undergone, in the stages plyker,'
,” “ The Polyandrian Marriage, ing about the environs of the metroand “ The Demon of the Salt-box," polis; by Alice Field, formerly of Durtranslated from the German, by M. O. ham, afterwards, Semptress in ChanM.-Spirited versions of interesting cery-lane, and now retired from busitales.
ness, in a series of parts." We fear “ Lament over the laziness of Dr that these journies have heen stopped Scott, Timothy Tickler, Esq. William by the Steam-Boat ; but surely Mr Wastle of that Ilk, Esq. and others of Duffle would be sorry to find himself paramount prowess in wit and war- an obstacle to a lady's telling her stofare,” signed P.Q.R.-Risibly severe, ry. Mrs Field begs us to say, that she and which we should hope would prove is not “ the wearyful woman.” (8.) as expergifacient as a sternutatory to “ The Three-legged Stool," a drathe parties addressed. (4.)
matic scene. Of overpowering tenderDirty Nat, the Pig-boy,” a lyrical ness; and “ Decapitation,” another ballad, to be classed among " Poems gracefully sportive, both by V.D.B.(9.) of Sentiment and Reflection," although, “ The Poet's Celestial Tour," by
(2.) Although our invalided toe holdeth sweet accord with the hearth rug, and there hath been dalliance of an intimate nature betwixt it and the fender, yet Master Domesticus's promptings mislike us grievously. We print not from the prompter's book-it may be a merit in farces, but not in magazines.
(3.) Most true, we recommend that he be forth with elected Poet Extraordinary to any hospital for incurables which wants such an appendage.
(4.) P. Q. R. must favour us with his address, or come and hear our reasons in propria persona. In his cruet-stand, the vinegar-bottle of sarcasm is not dulcified by the neighbourhood of the oil-flask of courtesy. The omission may be supplied. (5.) We wash our hands of it.
(6.) Deep thoughted with a vengeance ! Ecce signum,
Threads sensitive, which form a thrilling warp
From distaff physiologic finely twined, &c. (7.) We beg the ingenious author will send them to the Gentleman's Diary ; they very happily combine matter now spread over two distinct departments of that publication, the poetical rebuses and the prose mathematical demonstrations. Thus by P. P.'s device will hard-headed students be enticed into the primrose path of poesy, and spinsters, who used to puzzle themselves to no purpose, will now unwittingly become dexterous geo
(8.) We shall bring them out, if Mrs F. has but moderate patience. Indeed we have had our eye on Mrs Field ever since her first journey, when her cloak was twisted betwixt nave and spoke,"_being much struck with her sensibility, evinced by her grief at the loss of the old one and joy at the new, which, we are glad to assure our readers, “ the Host" (we forget of which house in Durham) was honest enough to buy, “ of duffil grey, and as warm a cloak as man could sell.” She paid no “ Shilling Fare” there, so the bistory of that journey does not come within her present work.
(9.) We could be well content to lay aside our gravity, and see Mr V. D. B. slip off
Omicron.-Fervid sublimity, and a the bays of ballad-romance had then dithyrambic abandonment to the im- taken root at Sir Walter Scott's door, petus of his genius, characterize this and would not budge an inch in faaspirant to your patronage. A great vour of him, who avers that he first evil has, however, already resulted introduced them to the soil. Omicron's from your procrastination. Had the poem, we fear, can no longer expect poem had an early insertion, the revi. the factitious support of being a novelval, or rather re-modelling of the Eng- ty in an original style ; but to prove lish hexameter, would have been as- to you that the invention was anticisigned to him, rather than to the Lau- pated by him, allow us to quote the reate or the author of the Hymn. But opening; for in a case of this kind, Omicron's case is too like that of Cole
every added day renders it more diffi-
Ready am I to ascend hence the loftiest heaven of invention :
Which you, and others who grovel, imagine the rattling of thunder,” &c.
more studious poetico-metaphysical Impenetrability; or the Effects of readers. Misapprehended Reciprocity;" signed These pieces are what we somewhat Crux.-Not entirely new in its lead- confidently submit to your better judg. ing plan; for, as - The Pleasures of ment, not mentioning such as we have Hope" sprang from " The Pleasures of suppressed, and seldom having noticed Memory;" so was the hint for this more than a single one of our respecsubtly didactic poem given by one styled tive productions, now awaiting your “ Individuality, or the Causes of 'Re- fiat to be printed. (12.)
his stool ; and if some part (not his heud) came with a very smart impact against the ground, it would be a due recompence for making us read such wooden, brainless stuff.
(10.) Omicron beats M. Garnerin, who entrusted himself to a parachute, which swung him backwards and forwards till his brains were addled, and then banged him against the stones, to see what sort of osteology he was possessed of. We received the hymn a week, two days, and some hours before little o's six-footed lines crept in. We must be just.
(11.) We hasten to persuade Mr H. L. with all the earnestness for his good which we can show, to apply instanter for the situation advertised last week of Junior Usher to the lowest form at Mr M.'s academy, Leith ; apprehending from the old motto “ docendo disco," that it comes within the scope of the possibles, that he may, by teaching scholars not yet imbued with any great quantity of erudition, (being mostly quinquennarians, or at most sexennarians,) himself learn to spell ; and as to Miss Camilla, she talks of cookery being a vulgar science, she hallucinates, -- the wisest course she can pursue is to put herself for a month or two under the flowery-fisted dominion of the house-keeper of her friend Mrs Thirdcourse, in the capacity of kitchen-maid, (if indeed so much capacity be hers ;) but, N. B. she must, meanwhile, be called Molly, Betty, Sally, or the like, as a nom-de-guerre or rather de-cuisine, for Camilla at the frying-pan, or working away with the flour-dredger, hath some incongruity to the ear. Should she listen to this ada vice, she will return to a sounder way of judging on the subject, Shall Mrs Rundel have written in vain ? Smoke-jacks and cradle spits, forbid !
(12.) In fine, we give no encouragement to our Contributors to question our tact and judgment. Write away merry men all; but Fame hath deputed us sole umpire--indisputable, and till now undisputed.
The Finish. We hope our friends in Cockaigne will not fancy by this that we have any intention to meddle with the COAL-HOLE, or their FINISH. All we mean, is simply to say, that we have concluded one volume, and finished the first number of another. Having commenced our labours in April, we have often regretted that it was not in our power to begin a new volume with a new year. To rectify our
calendar in this respect, we have resolved to give only five numDe bers in our ninth and tenth volumes, and by publishing this extra
number, we shall be able to commence our eleventh volume, at the regular period in January.