that is, by turns,

O'er pale faces mourns

The black tassell'd trencher and common hat;

The Chantry boy sings,

The Steeple-bell rings,

And as for the Chancellor

dominat.

SONNET TO MRS. REYNOLDS'S CAT.

CATI

AT! who has [t] pass'd thy grand clima[c]teric,
How many mice and rats hast in thy days

Destroy'd? How many tit bits stolen? Gaze
With those bright languid segments green, and prick
Those velvet ears - but pr'ythee do not stick

Thy latent talons in me and upraise

Thy gentle mew — and tell me all thy frays
Of fish and mice, and rats and tender chick.
Nay, look not down, nor lick thy dainty wrists—
For all the wheezy asthma, — and for all
Thy tail's tip is nick'd off- and though the fists
Of many a maid has given thee many a maul,
Still is that fur as soft as when the lists

In youth thou enter'dst on glass bottled wall.

A[h] goud hair'd Marie yeve I pray

Ane minute's guessing

For that I met upon the way

Is past expressing.

As I stood where a rocky brig

A torrent crosses

I spied upon a misty rig

A troup o' Horses

And as they trotted down the glen

I sped to meet them

To see if I might know the Men

To stop and greet them.

First Willie on his sleek mare came

At canting gallop

His long hair rustled like a flame

On board a shallop.

Then came his brother Rab and then

Young Peggy's Mither

TH

BEN NEVIS: A DIALOGUE.

THERE was one Mrs. Cameron of 50 years of age and the fattest woman in all Invernessshire who got up this Mountain some few years ago true she had her servants but then she had her self. She ought to have hired Sisyphus, "Up the high hill he heaves a huge round - Mrs. Cameron." "Tis said a little conversation took place between the mountain and the Lady. After taking a glass of W[h]iskey as she was tolerably seated at ease she thus began

MRS. C.

Upon my Life Sir Nevis I am pique'd

That I have so far panted tugg`d and reek'd
To do an honour to your old bald pate
And now am sitting on you just to bate,
Without your paying me one compliment.
Alas 'tis so with all, when our intent
Is plain, and in the eye of all Mankind
We fair ones show a preference, too blind!

5

You Gentle man immediately turn tail
O let me then my hapless fate bewail!
Ungrateful Baldpate have I not disdain'd
The pleasant Valleys I have I not madbrain'd
Deserted all my Pickles and preserves

My China closet too with wretched Nerves
To boot - say wretched ingrate have I not
Le[f]t my soft cushion chair and caudle pot.
'Tis true I had no corns -- no! thank the fates
My Shoemaker was always Mr. Bates.
And if not Mr. Bates why I'm not old!
Still dumb ungrateful Nevis - still so cold!

10

15

20

Here the Lady took some more w[h]iskey and was putting even more to her lips when she dashed [it] to the Ground for the Mountain began to grumble which continued for a few minutes before he thus began,

BEN NEVIS.

What whining bit of tongue and Mouth thus dares
Disturb my slumber of a thousand years?
Even so long my sleep has been secure —
And to be so awaked I'll not endure.

Oh pain for since the Eagle's earliest scream
I've had a dam [n]'d confounded ugly dream,
A Nightmare sure. What Madam was it you?
It cannot be ! My old eyes are not true!
Red-Crag, my Spectacles! Now let me see!
Good Heavens Lady how the gemini
Did you get here? OI shall split my sides!
I shall earthquake

25

30

MRS. C.

Sweet Nevis do not quake, for though I love
You[r] honest Countenance all things above
Truly I should not like to be convey'd
So far into your Bosom - gentle Maid

35

Loves not too rough a treatment gentle Sir-
Pray thee be calm and do not quake nor stir
No not a Stone or I shall go in fits-

BEN NEVIS.

I must I shall I meet not such tit bits
I meet not such sweet creatures every day-
By my old night cap night cap night and day

40

I must have one sweet Buss I must and shall
Red Crag! What Madam can you then repent
Of all the toil and vigour you have spent
To see Ben Nevis and to touch his nose?
Red Crag I say! OI must have them close!
Red Crag, there lies beneath my farthest toe
A vein of Sulphur- go dear Red Crag, go-
And rub your flinty back against it — budge!
Dear Madam I must kiss you, faith I must!
I must Embrace you with my dearest gust!

45

50

Block-head, d'ye hear-Block-head I'll make her feel
There lies beneath my east leg's northern heel

55

60

65

A cave of young earth dragons - well my boy
Go thither quick and so complete my joy
Take you a bundle of the largest pines
And when the sun on fiercest Phosphor shines
Fire them and ram them in the Dragon's nest
Then will the dragons fry and fizz their best
Until ten thousand now no bigger than
Poor Al[1]igators - poor things of one span
Will each one swell to twice ten times the size
Of northern whale - then for the tender prize —
The moment then — for then will Red Crag rub
His flinty back - and I shall kiss and snub
And press my dainty morsel to my breast.
Block-head make haste!

O Muses weep the rest
The Lady fainted and he thought her dead
So pulled the clouds again about his head
And went to sleep again -soon she was rous'd
By her affrighted servants next day hous'd

Safe on the lowly ground she bless'd her fate

That fainting fit was not delayed too late.

But what surprises me above all is how this Lady got down again.

70