That indeed which gives me the prefent thought of this kind, is, that a carelefs groom of mine has spoiled me the prettieft pad in the world with only riding him ten miles; and I affure you, if I were to make a regifter of all the horses I have known thus abused by negligence of fervants, the number would mount a regiment. I wish you would give us your observations, that we may know how to treat these rogues, or that we mafters may enter into meafures to reform them. Pray give us a Speculation in general about • fervants, and you make me Yours, Philo-Britannièusi P. S. Pray do not omit the mention of grooms in particular. This honeft gentleman, who is fo defirous that I fhould write a fatire upon grooms, has a great deal of reason for his refentment; and I know. no evil which touches all mankind fo much as this of the misbehaviour of fervants. The complaint of this letter runs wholly upon menfervants; and I can attribute the licentioufnefs which has at prefent prevailed among them, to nothing buts what an hundred before me have afcribed it to, The cuftom of giving board-wages: This one inftance of falfe ceconomy is fufficient to debauch the whole nation of fervants, and makes them as it were but for fome part of their time in that quality. They are either attending. in places where they meet and run into clubs, or else, if they wait at taverns, they eat after their mafters, and referve their wages for other occafions. From hence it arifes, That they are but in a lower degree what their mafters themselves are; and ufually affect an imitation of their manners: And you have in liveries, beaux, fops, and coxcombs, in as high perfection as among people. that keep equipages. It is a common humour among the retinue of people of quality, when they are in their. revels, that is when they are out of their mafters fight, to affume in a humourous way the names and titles of thofe No SS thofe whofe liveries they wear. By which means characters and diftinctions become fo familiar to them, that it is to this, among other caufes, one may impute a certain infolence among our fervants, that they take no notice of any gentleman though they know him ever fo well, except he is an acquaintance of their matters. My obfcurity and taciturnity leave me at liberty, without fcandal, to dine, if I think fit, at a common ordinary, in the meanest as well as the most fumptuous houfe of entertainment. Falling in the other day at a victualling-houfe near the houfe of peers, I heard the maid come down and tell the landlady at the bar, That my Lord Bishop fwore he would throw her out of window, if he did not bring up more mild beer, and that my Lord Duke would have a double mug of purl. My furprife was increased, in hearing loud and ruftick voices fpeak and answer to each other upon the publick affairs, by the names of the mott illuftrious of our nobility; till of a fudden one came running in, and cry'd the house was rifing. Down came all the company together, and away! The alehoufe was immediately filled with clamour, and fcoring one mug to the Marquis of fuch a place, oil and vinegar to fuch an Earl, three quarts to my new Lord for wetting his title, and fo forth. It is a thing too notorious to mention the crouds of fervants, and their infolence, near the courts of justice, and the Aairs towards the fupreme affembly, where there is an univerfal mockery of all order, fuch riotous clamour and licentious confufion, that one would think the whole nation lived in jeft, and there were no fuch thing as rule and diftin&tion among us. The next place of refort, wherein the fervile world are let loofe, is at the entrance of Hyde-Park, while the gentry are at the ring. Hither people bring their lackeys out of fate, and here it is that all they fay at their tables, and ac in their houses, is communicated to the whole town. There are men of wit in all conditions of life; and mixing with thefe people at their diverfions, I have heard coquettes and prudes as well rallied, and infolence and pride expofed, (allowing for their want of education) with as much humour and good fense, as in the politeft companies. It is a general obfervation, That all all dependents run in fome measure into the manners and behaviour of those whom they ferve: You fhall frequently meet with lovers and men of intrigue among the lackeys, as well as at White's or in the fide-boxes. I remember fome years ago an inftance of this kind. A footman to a captain of the guard ufed frequently, when. his mafter was out of the way, to carry on amours and make affignations in his mafter's clothes. The fellow had a very good perfon, and there are very many women, that think no further than the outfide of a gentleman : befides which, he was almoft as learned a man as the colonel himself: I fay, thus qualified, the fellow could fcrawl billet-doux fo well, and furnish a converfation on the common topicks, that he had as they call it, a great deal of good bufinefs on his hands. It happened one day, that coming down a tavern-ftairs in his master's. fine guard-coat, with a well-drefs'd woman masked, he met the colonel coming up with other company; but. with a ready affurance he quitted his lady, came up to him, and faid, Sir, I know you have too much respect for yourfelf to cane me in this honourable habit: But you fee there is a lady in the cafe, and I hope on that score alfa you will put off your anger till I have told you all another time. After a little paufe, the colonel cleared up his. countenance, and with an air of familiarity whispered his man apart, Sirrah, bring the lady with you to ask par don for you; then aloud, Look to it, Will, I'll never forgive you elfe. The fellow went back to his mistress,, and telling her with a loud voice and an oath, That was the honefteft fellow in the world, convey'd her to an hackney-coach. But the many irregularities committed by fervants in the places above-mentioned, as well as in the theatres, of which masters are generally the occafions, are too various not to need being refumed on another occasion.. N° 89 Tuesday, June 12. Petite bine, juvenefque fenefque, Finem animo certum, miferifque viatica canis. Perf. Sat. 5. v. 64 Perf. From thee both old and young, with profit, learn The bounds of good and evil to difcern. or Cornutus. Unhappy he, who does this work adjourn, And to to-morrow wou'd the fearch delay : His lazy morrow will be like to-day. Perf. But is one day of cafe too much to borrow? Who, like the hindmoft chariot-wheels, are curt, A S my correfpondents upon the fubject of love are very numerous, it is my defign, if poflible, to range them under feveral heads, and addrefs myfelf to them at different times. The firft branch of them, to whofe fervice I fhall dedicate this paper, are those that have to do with women of dilatory tempers, who are for fpinning out the time of courtfhip to an immoderate length, without being able either to close with. their lovers, or to difmifs them. I have many letters by me alled with complaints against this fort of woIn one of them no lefs a man than a brother of abe coif tells me, that he began his fuit Vicefimo nono men. Caroli fecundi, before he had been a twelvemonth at the Temple; that he profecuted it for many years after he was called to the bar; that at prefent he is a ferjeant at law; and notwithstanding he hoped that matters would have been long fince brought to an iffue, the fair one ftill demurs. I am fo well pleafed with this gentleman's phrafe, that I shall distinguish this sect of women by the title of demurrers. I find by another letter from one that calls himself Thyrfis, that his mistress has been demurring above thefe feven years. But among all my plaintiffs of this nature, I moft pity the unfortu nate Philander, a man of a conftant paffion and plentiful fortune, who fets forth that the timorous and irrefolute Silvia has demurred till fhe is paft child-bearing. Strephon appears by his letter to be a very cholerick lover, and irrevocably fmitten with one that demurs out of felf-intereft. He tells me with great paffion that she has bubbled him out of his youth; that the drilled him on to five and fifty, and that he verily believes she will drop him in his old age, if the can find her account in another. I fhall conclude this narrative with a letter from honeft SAM HOPEWELL, a very pleasant fellow, who it seems has at laft married a demurrer: I muft only premife, that SA M, who is a very good bottle-companion, has been the diverfion of his friends, upon account of his paffion, ever fince the year one thousand fix hundred and eighty-one. Dear SIR, YOU OU know very well my paffion for Mrs. Martha, and what a dance fhe has led me: She took me out at the age of two and twenty, and dodged < with me above thirty years. I have loved her till the is grown as gray as a cat, and am with much ado become the mafter of her perfon, fuch as it is at prefent. She is however in my eye a very charming old woman. • We often lament that we did not marry fooner, but she has nobody to blame for it but herfelf: You know . very well that fhe would never think of me whilft fhe had a tooth in her head. I have put the date of my paffion (Anno amoris trigefimo primo) inftead of a pofey, on my wedding-ring. I expect you fhould fend me a & |