Woodville, "do talk like a sensible man for one say something about kissing being one of the day in your life."

66

Ned, blast your eyes, I think you might understand what I said to you without tasking your brain

too severely, but the ladies-blessings on them

devil's weapons, but was forced to yield to the overwhelming majority which declared it an innocent recreation.

“There's a charity which is inexhaustible,

are not to be spoken to as your common clay-por-gents-what is it?"

celain, Ned, porcelain. Ladies," he continued, This question was answered by the crowd fronting a bevy of six or eight girls," a toast to thrusting their hands into their pockets.

you, fair maidens, and in Nature's unadulterated wine will I drink it. On this day we asserted our independence of British authority, and this day we will ever commemorate by acknowledging our dependence on yours."

"Ned," said he, leading his coony off by the arm, "Ned, that was fine, and I hope you will not blab, when I declare I have been thinking of it for an hour. Come, I will drink your health, and, hang it, Nature's wine shall be adulterated this time;" and in brandy-toddy he gave, 66 a better acquaintance, as the boy said to his daddy." Isham Parsons now arrived, and most cordially was the old fellow greeted by the whole assembly. His reputation as a saint-not much worsted by his known fondness for expletives-backed by his popularity as a man, and his age as a patriarch, procured him more kisses-Ike loves kisses-from the coral lips of the girls, than would have caused his son to go raving mad with joy; and we shall do Beau nothing but justice, when we say, if he could have looked into the hearts of the ladies, he would have found the salutes given the father, were, sometimes, intended as proxies for the son.

"I've two harguments why you oughter to kiss me, Lucy," said he, to a coy damsel, who appeared desirous of avoiding his salute.

"Haint it to give thater which makes us no poorer, an' the receiver richer?"

"Just so, just so," was the response, and the hands were withdrawn from the pockets. "But you have lost sight of 'won't bite," interposed Beau.

"No I haint, tho'," and Ike's eyes glistened with excitement.

"Ef Lucy gives me a kiss, is she any poorer!"
"No! no!" responded the audience.
"An' haint I richer?" ·

The answer to this did not, at first, seem se obvious, but the old man, finally, carried the day, and was assured that he would be infinitely richer.

"There can be but one reason, then, aginst her doin' so, an' thater is the fear of a bite. I said I 'won't bite,' an' now I asks"-here Isham rose upon his feet, like Henry when he uttered his celebrated warning to George the Third-"ef won't bite haint an hargument for kissin'?"

"You have carried the day—give up, Beau,” exclaimed the assembly; and Billy finding the current of popular opinion so strongly against him, retired without attempting an answer, and reven ged himself by whispering in the ears of the ladies "I won't bite." Thus, though his father claimed the victory in the argument, the reputation of Beac

"You can't win kisses by arguments, uncle Ike; as a wit, was considerably increased! but let's hear them."

"The first is, I'm old."

Isham, and some of the old men, now thought it high time to "wet their whistles;" and a table, "A very good reason for not kissing you." under the oak tree we have before mentioned, gare "And the other is, I won't bite." them ample means of doing so. Ike was called on "Won't bite is no argument," exclaimed Billy for a toast, and gave—" harguments and the gals— Parsons, who had been watching the old man, ho- the one will win the tother." Politics, that se ping, or rather knowing, something would turn up, qua non of American chit-chat, was then introduwhereon he might electrify the ladies with his bril- ced. Lawyers, doctors, pastors, editors; venders liant wit. He knew Isham well; for no sooner did of plausibilities, pills, prayers, and paragraphs, he hear one of his "harguments," as he chose to might all have learned something from the sag call his reasons, impeached, than he wheeled around, gestions here thrown out. One thought a canal and the fair lady was utterly forgotten in his en- across the Isthmus of Panama would certainly endeavors to prove "won't bite" an argument. Ike's hance the value of granite in New-Hampshire. peculiarity was also known to the whole crowd, Another declared, without a veto on the Bank of and he soon had a dense and laughing audience the United States-the monster-no herrings woel! listening to his lucid illustrations. Our character again appear off the coast of North-Carolina; and is a rare one, but he may have a local habitation yet another swore, that since the introduction of the Tariff, the Hessian fly had destroyed more "Gents, I erpeals to you-haint kissin' inercent grain than would suffice to feed half the paupers of Europe. War, and all of its horrors, were then "It is, it is!" responded the whole throng, with brought upon the tapis. The Americans were the exception of Billy. The Socratic method of roundly asserted to be the greatest people on earth, reasoning was a thing he did not like-especially and the Virginians the very persons alluded to, when employed against himself. He attempted to when it was said, the children of this world are

and a name.

in itself?"

wiser in their generation, than the children of light. | lady, a just regard for the safety of that lady deThe rifle of the western pioneer was declared an clares that he should not throw his legs too far," infinitely superior weapon to a British ninety-six was the parody which he addressed to a red-headed pounder; and it was seriously mooted, whether or specimen of the human race, whose lower limbs not, a Chinese cracker in the hands of an Ameri- seemed every moment about to give his companion can schoolboy, was more effective than one of the greeting which the windmill gave the knight of their congreve rockets. Isham Parsons, as those La Mancha. To another, who had lost his partwho have attentively studied his character will sup-ner, he gave a similar parody; asking him to “make pose, was first and foremost in these disquisitions, known the causes which impelled him to a separaand he was in the very act of giving his reasons tion"-all of which was received with great apin favor of the boy and cracker, when the negro plause, the Declaration of Independence being, as fiddler was heard to strike his bow across the back it should be, at the finger-ends of every one. of his instrument, as a signal for the dancing to "Your heel is well, I see, dad," said Beau, as begin. Ike-to use his own simile-was off like he passed Isham in the mazes (emphatically so) of a shot from a hot shovel, and, with the prettiest the dance. girl present, was the first man upon the floor, prepared to exhibit the agility, if not the graces, of his person.

The old man saw that the tale of the morning's mishap would soon be told by his son, and his love of fun determined his course at once.

Billy had a fall this morin'," he said to his partner.

"You don't say so!" exclaimed the partnerand the speakers were off, in different directions, before an answer could be given or received.

"Yes he did," said Ike, when they again met. "How?" cried Miss, and, again they were forced to part.

"Horse!" exclaimed Ike, when for the third time they were vis-a-vis.

66

Had we the pencil of a Cruikshank (Phœbus, what a name !) and the pen of a Dickens, we should despair of doing any sort of justice to the scene which now arose. To dancing, as to every thing else, each man seemed to think the Declaration of Independence applied; and, of course, the steps, turnings, windings, kickings, jumpings of one, were wholly independent of another. One fellow appeared to think the Graces always walked sideways-accordingly, he walked sideways. Another thought backwards, still more graceful-he walked Oh, do-do stop and tell," requested the inquibackwards—another thought a slide superior to a sitive lady, and Isham, nothing loth, gave an acjump, and yet another, a jump superior to a slide-count, something like the following, of the morntheir movements were regulated to suit these fan- ing's adventure: cies. One genius supported himself on his left leg, whilst the right was made to gyrate around its stand-still neighbor-he was a patronizer of astral dancing; the left leg being the sun, and the right typefying the movements of the heavenly bodies. The ladies had grace enough, but, of course, their steps had to be regulated by those of their part

ners.

The astral dancer kept a laughing girl wheeling around him in an orbit as eccentric as that of any comet that ever alarmed the world. Move, her beau would not; until he had ground a hole in the earth, and, then, a jump gave him a stable foundation on which he might recommence the same manœuvre. The partner of the gentleman whose forte was a jump, had a still more difficult task, and would, willingly, have exchanged with the one who was compelled to play planet to the brilliant orb we have mentioned-a Venus to his Phoebus!

Faster, darky, faster!" exclaimed Ike, to the ebony fiddler-" cuss me boys," he continued, "ef I'm usin to sich slow movements," and the old fellow's shrunken shanks, twinkled like a swiftly revolving wheel in the sunshine.

He said that Billy, when he started from home, made his horse rear and pitch in a most extraordinary manner, for the purpose of exciting his (Ike's) admiration of his horsemanship. That he (Ike) had told him, after a rise there was always a fall, and his son had laughed him to scorn. But the event proved the truth of the prediction. Billy had not gone more than a half mile before he was thrown, and his vanity, if not his person, grievouly wounded. Ike said, farther, that he had overtaken him and offered the use of his steed to gain possession of his son's runaway. Beau accepted the offer, but only to increase the number of his misfortunes. He (Beau) mounted and pursued, but the recreant steed saluted his stirrup-iron with a kick so severe as to lame him very considerably, for the time being. Mr. Isham Parsons, moreover, asserted that it was at the earnest request of Billy, that he had not before told the tale, but Beau had just made an insinuation which induced him (Ike) to declare the whole business. By way of clincher to this string of falsehoods, he added, that he had never heard a man curse and swear as Billy did, in the whole course of his life-that he was greatly

Mr. William Parsons was all animation; and his mortified, and gave him a lecture both on the im

wit became absolutely dazzling.

66

'When, in the course of human events, it be

comes necessary for a gentleman to dance with a

VOL. VII-72

policy and iniquity of profane language; but, finally, admitted that the kick of a horse would, if any

thing could, justify a deviation from the ordinary standing the many bards who have endeavored to modes of expression.

write the world into a contrary opinion-and now Now, let no one, in disdain, cast our worthy old the gentlemen having followed in the footsteps of Isham aside. He is not only honest and charita- these fair, but not quite ethereal beings, are quaffble, but, if we judge a man by his intentions, he is ing libations (pouring libations has gone out of good. So far as these were concerned, his tale fashion) to the Goddess of Freedom, in whatever was no breach of sound morality. Isham Parsons land she may be found. Wine brightens wit, and is a genius, and must not be judged by rules appli- whiskey, gin, brandy, and all the other adulteracable to ordinary men. He saw that the enemy tions of alcohol, are apt to do the same thing. All was about to enter his own territory, and, like varieties of table-talk, were to be heard at Bubbleanother Scipio, he determined to carry the war into Spring. Sentiment mingled with common-place; Africa-to occupy the very fortress from which his the profound with the shallow; the high with the foe intended to make his hostile demonstrations-low; the deep with the lofty, and—it is with re'Twas for fun, reader, fun, and the father of lies gret we say it-the stammering enunciation of never yet told one, designed to give pleasure, with- some of the speakers showed too plainly, that, out inflicting injury upon mankind. though wine may elevate our ideas, it, but too often, injures our power of expressing them.

"How's your foot, Beau !" asked a dancer, 'Excellent," said Beau, cutting the back-shuffle to prove it.

"There is two things," quoth Isham Parsons, rising from his seat, glass in hand, "which we oughter to do on the 4th of July-git merry andand-"

"Curse the British," supplied a fellow close by. "Ay, ay, cuss the British-and Kurnwallis, especially," said Ike.

"By the way," interposed one, "I've hearn say we were descendants of these same Britishers-it is all a lie, and the man who says I've a drap of their blood in my veins, I'll wallop him. I had a long slipe ruther be kin to a nigger."

"Kin to 'em, indeed!" exclaimed Ike, "why Kerlumbus diskivered Ameriky, and every body knows he was a—a—”

66

Beau again declared that it was "excellent," but seemed a little surprised at the frequency of the question. At last he appeared to have made a discovery, and uttering an anathema against his worthy parent, which did him but little honor, and would redound still less to our credit to repeat, he walked up to a young lady and requested the pleasure of conducting her to the table, when the important hour of dinner should arrive. The lady said she would look over her engagements and see whether this pleasure might be granted without diminishing that of some one else, and she took a slate of one of the school-children, which hung dangling from a bough of the arbor, and began to read her "engagements" with as much complacency as a banker would scan his "notes due." Beau Beau saw a smile on the face of a few knowing saw from the slate-which, doubtless, she never ones, and this was ample encouragement to lead intended him to see-that her promises were many, Mr. Parsons, the elder, into a maze of contradie but how did his heart dance with joy, and how did tions. After having made his too credulous prohis vanity rise, when he beheld her, with the great-genitor assert, that Columbus was the citizen of est nonchalance, place her delicate fore-finger upon half a dozen nations-Ike taking care, after every her tongue, and having slightly moistened it, pro- acknowledgment, to blame the treachery of his ceed to rub out a name and substitute that of Mr. memory-he astonished the old fellow, as much as William Parsons. He bowed; she smiled, and the affair was settled, though the hopes of some biped were blasted in so doing.

Dinner, we would apostrophize thee! and more particularly that variety of thy fair form, yclept a barbecue! We have lost none of the reverence wherewith we were wont to regard thee in years bygone, but we cannot consent to do penance by thinking over past joys; and that we do think when we write, must be evident to every one. Some of these days we may embalm thee in verse as musical as the spluttering of thy gravy upon the glowing coals, but now-no, we cannot!

Frenchman," added Beau, gravely. "Yes, a Frenchman, as I was guine to say," lied Isham.

his son could astonish him, by roundly denying that any such person had ever existed, and, as usual, called on him to prove it. Ike happened to be silting next the schoolmaster, and he gave him a signal to come to his assistance. Mr. Thwackem's was not a mind which could bring its energies to bear in a moment, but his intimate acquaintance with Peter Parley, saved his credit. He whispered in Ike's ear,

"Columbus was a sailor brave, That first did cross the Atlantic wave." Ike pretended to be in a deep study for a moThe ladies have eaten for that ladies do eat, ment, as if collecting his logical weapons, and, the ghosts which haunt the hen-roost, the barn- after having suffered a sufficient time to elapse to yard, and the pig-sty, in the neighborhood of Bubble- give what he should say an air of originality, be Spring, could they speak, would declare, notwith-exclaimed

"

1841.] Lines on Reading the Life and Last Writings of L. E. L.-Capt. Marryatt.

Laughing, eating, drinking, dancing, like most good things, must have an end, and these being the component parts of a Bubble-Spring bran-dance, it must have an end likewise. To declare the way Ishain Parsons brushed these critical hornets from In the March No. of your "Messenger," there is an artihis jacket, would only be anticipating the judgment cle, covering more than twenty pages of that journal, upon of the reader. That he swore, they may rest asCapt. Marryatt and his Diary." It is certainly written sured. A thousand times was Beau made to un-I confess I am mortified that so much good writing should in the spirit of an American, and with great ability. But derstand he was the greatest fool living, and the be wasted upon so mean a subject, and that any American thousandth reiteration found his temper as placid should think Capt. Marryatt and his Diary worthy of so laas a waveless lake. For the present, we bid them bored a notice. This itinerant scribbler, this literary pedboth a hearty farewell. In the course of our "Paint-ler of small wares, who travels to write, and writes to sell, is well known to have neither the manners, conversation, ings in Profile," they may chance again to appear or principles of a gentleman. Gentlemen of this city who on the canvass, but now a character quite as origi-were thrown into his society, which rarely happened, speak nal demands our attention.

nothing concerning this country will sell, unless it labors to show to the liege subjects of her Majesty, that our popular institutions are destructive of morals, manners, religion, knowledge and government-in short, of every thing that gives dignity to man, refinement to society, and security in the law. Mr. Walsh, in his last letter from Paris, truly says: "Your republicanism is odious and fearful to all monarchies."

Silence was o'er the deep; the noiseless surge,
The last subsiding wave,-of that dread tumult
Which raged, when ocean, at the mute command,
Rush'd furiously into his new-cleft bed,—
Was gently rippling on the pebbled shore;
While, on the swell, the sea-bird with her head
Wing-veil'd, slept tranquilly.-Grahame.

About four thousand years have gone from the calendar of Time. Paradise has become a desert. Man has spread over the earth, but in all his wanderings Sin and Sorrow have kept him company. He has moistened the soil given him to till, with his brother's blood. But the sheltering hand of Heaven has been over him, and, at last, a remnant of the race are dwelling together in a promised land. Their enemies have been subdued-their city sits on her three hills, "beautiful as Tirzah. and terrible as an army with banners." The word

Capt. Marryatt received very little attention in the At such an hour walked Adam and his consort United States, with one very silly exception in a Western hand in hand, till, as the sun went down in the city. Here he was almost entirely neglected; the bad West, they sought a place of repose-faithfully deodor of his reputation in his own country preceded his ad-lineated by Milton,-and thus, so peacefully, comvent to this; and the admiration we had for some of his menced the world's first Saturday Night. writings, was not thought a sufficient reason for bestowing our attentions upon their vulgar and unworthy author. We may derive pleasure or benefit from the excretions of an unclean animal, but are not therefore bound to take him into our houses. This neglect galled the natural acerbity of his temper, and sharpened the edge of his invective. But the great and leading excitement to his scurrilous libels, and unblushing falsehoods against this country, is the same which has governed all his predecessors, from Fearon to Trollop, who came here to gather materials to be worked up for sale in the English market; a mere money-making job. To take truth about the United States as an article of trade to England, would be more absurd than the tale of a shipment of warming-pans to the West Indies; they were turned to a good use; but a true and candid representation of the happiness and prosperity of republican America, could spoken by seers of old has been fulfilled. Bethledo nothing but mischief among the subjects of a monarchy. hem of Judea has witnessed the incarnation of You seem to be so abundantly supplied with good matter Deity. The sick, the blind, and the oppressed, for your excellent journal, that I regret so much of it should have been comforted, and the dead raised to life. have been employed upon "Capt. Marryatt and his Diary." But the fatal hour is at hand. Jerusalem has been Philadelphia, April 17, 1841. wept over in vain. The blood of prophets and priests is in her skirts, and one deed alone remains to fill up the cup of her crime.

THREE SATURDAY NIGHTS.

X.

The city is in an uproar! There is a procession sweeping like a sea from the western gate. Peasants, soldiery, scribes, and lordly Pharisees roli along, an unnumbered multitude. There is one Chaos had been moulded into form. Light had countenance unlike all others. No trace of pas begun to smile on the face of new-born earth. sion mars it: but in that eye there is patience, Ocean had pealed its first thunder-hymn. The peace, and heaven, amid all the tumult. They are sun and moon wheeled along their yet untravelled on the hill called Calvary. What a silence! The orbits, and good angels hung out their lamps of mob are ignorant and heedless of the heart that stars. More wonderful and complex in his organi- now bursting for them. They wag their heads zation than all, Man was last created, and the seal and rail on him. But hark! "It is finished!" and of superiority stamped on his forehead. "And the He gives up the ghost. The sky has put on sackevening and the morning was the sixth day." The cloth; Moriah, Acre, and Sion, tremble. The rockwhole universe was happy in the possession of ex-barred sepulchres are open, and men, long ag istence. The birds were trying their throats in buried, are walking about in their winding-sheets the groves of Eden: insects of a thousand dyes Oh, Jerusalem! proud even in thy day of doom, 21 sported in the rays of the declining sun, and the this very time the eagle of Titus is pluming its continuous hum from the whole animate creation wings to sweep eastward. The crowning act rose, an acceptable anthem in the ear of their great committed-the week is ended—and to an infatuCreator. It was towards evening,

Blessed that eve!
The Sabbath's harbinger, when, all complete,
In freshest beauty from Jehovah's hand,
Creation bloomed; when Eden's twilight face
Smiled like a sleeping babe. The voice divine
A holy calm breathed o'er the goodly work;
Mildly the sun, upon the loftiest trees,
Shed mellowly a sloping beam. Peace reign'd,
And love, and gratitude; the human pair
Their orisons pour'd forth; love, concord reign'd;

ated nation has come, at last, its Saturday Night.

Century upon century has rolled away. The sun, the moon, and her glittering sisters, still keep sentinel as they did of old over Eden. On that soil once pressed by hallowed feet, the descendants of the chosen people are now gathered from the four winds of heaven. Their temple so often destroyed by the idolater now stands in new strength, and its burnished turrets pointing skyward, remind