though, to others,-you know not how I have raved and raged! But I believe, I am sure,-you know what I allude to."

'Twas impossible, thus challenged, to dissemble. "Yes," I answered, "I own,-I believe,-I understand you; and, indeed, I should be tempted to say farther,-if you would forget it when heard, and make no implications, -that, from what has come round to me from different quarters, I hold myself to be very much obliged to you."

I was sorry, as things are still circumstanced, to say this; but it would have been graceless, after all his zeal and kindness, thus called upon, to say less.

He looked very much pleased, and, entering instantly into the sort of inference I feared, mildly said, "But without any implication, now, surely it is time! Now,-obviously,-strikingly,-all implication apart, there is reason substantial, uncontrovertible

Mr. De Luc came to say something of the chair, and I dreaded his hearing what I felt coming, so turned off; but Mr. Windham's looks strongly finished his meaning concerning mine, as announcing a necessity of resig nation. I ventured at no answer whatsoever.

He looked a little blank, and then I could not resist, in a very low voice, saying, "I should not have expected, Mr. Windham, from you, a generosity such as this, for one you regard as a captive!"

He was obliged to swallow this allusion; but began, with double eagerness, upon the subject uppermost; but I really heard nothing, from seeing Mr. De Luc's fixed attention, and dreading his discovering our topic: I therefore made the parting courtesy; he returned it with a bow, but as I stood back, came on, very earnestly indeed, saying, "When shall I see you again ?"

I was sure, by the expression of his voice, he meant, when should again be visible in the world? I dared make no answer, but a little shook my head and still retreated.

"When?" he cried again, perseveringly, and still more forcibly.

Still no answer could I make. Upon which, in a tone most emphatic, he answered himself, exclaiming "Never!" and, with a look that implied all the raving and raging he had acknowledged internally reviving, and with an air almost in heroics, he walked away.

I was really very much vexed not to be able to deal more openly with a champion whose sincere warmth in my service so much engages my real gratitude, and gives me so much real pleasure; but it was every way impossible. Mr. De Luc, much struck with his eager manner, did not let him be out of hearing before he cried, "Pray, ma'am, who is it, that gen. tleman ?"

I told him. "Ha!" he exclaimed, astonished to find him one of that party; "and, really, he has an honest face of his own! But you both spoke so adroitly, under the cover, that I could not make it out, very well, what you were talking upon it; but I suppose the French revolution."

What gave him this idea I know not, but I was glad the adroitness so well succeeded.

When we came home I was immediately summoned to Her Majesty, to whom I gave a full and fair account of all I had heard of the defence; and it drew tears from her expressive eyes, as I repeated Mr. Hastings's own words, upon the hardship and injustice of the treatment he had sustained.

Afterwards, at night, the King called upon me to repeat my account; and I was equally faithful, sparing nothing of what had dropped from the persecuted defendant relative to His Majesty's Ministers. I thought official

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accounts might be less detailed there than against the Managers, who as open enemies, excite not so much my high displeasure" as the friends of Government, who so insidiously elected and panegyrised him while they wanted his assistance, and betrayed and deserted him when he was no longer in a capacity to serve them. Such, at least, is the light in which the defence places them.

The King listened with much earnestness and a marked compassion. He had already read the account sent him officially, but he was as eager to hear all I could recollect, as if still uninformed of what had passed. The words may be given to the eye, but the impression they make can only be conveyed by the ear; and I came back so eagerly interested that my memory was not more stored with the very words than my voice with the intonations of all that had passed.

With regard to my bearing this sole unofficial exertion since my illness, I can only say the fatigue I felt bore not any parallel with that of every drawing-room day, because I was seated.

JUNE 4TH.-Let me now come to the 4th, the last birthday of the good, gracious, benevolent King I shall ever, in all human probability, pass under his Royal roof.

The thought was affecting to me, in defiance of my volunteer conduct, and I could scarce speak to the Queen when I first went to her, and wished to say something upon a day so interesting. The King was most gracious and kind when he came into the State Dressing-Room at St. James's, and particularly inquired about my health and strength, and if they would befriend me for the day. I longed again to tell him how hard I would work them, rather than let them, on such a day, drive me from my office; but I found it better suited me to be quiet; it was safer not to trust to any expression of loyalty, with a mind so full, and on a day so critical.

With regard to health, my side is all that is attended with any uneasiness, and that is sometimes a serious business. Certainly there is nothing premature in what has been done.

And-O picquet-life hardly hangs on earth during its compulsion, in these months succeeding months, and years creeping, crawling, after years. At dinner Mrs. Schwellenberg presided, attired magnificently. Miss Goldsworthy, Mrs. Stainforth, Messrs. De Luc and Stanhope dined with us; and while we were still eating fruit, the Duke of Clarence entered.

He was just risen from the King's table, and waiting for his equipage to go home and prepare for the ball. To give you an idea of the energy of his Royal Highness's language, I ought to set apart a general objection to writing, or rather intimating, certain forcible words, and beg leave to show you, in genuine colours, a Royal sailor.

We all rose, of course, upon his entrance, and the two gentlemen placed themselves behind their chairs while the footmen left the room; but he ordered us all to sit down, and called the men back to hand about some wine. He was in exceeding high spirits and in the utmost good humour. He placed himself at the head of the table, next Mrs. Schwellenberg, and looked remarkably well, gay, and full of sport and mischief, yet clever withal as well as comical.

"Well, this is the first day I have ever dined with the King, at St. James's on his birthday. Pray, have you all drunk His Majesty's health?" "No, your Roy'l Highness: your Roy'l Highness might make dem do dat," said Mrs. Schwellenberg.

"O, by — will I! Here, you (to the footman); bring Champagne ! I'll drink the King's health again, if I die for it! Yet, I have done pretty

well already so has the King, yet I promise you! I believe his Majesty was never taken such good care of before. We have kept his spirits up, I promise you; we have enabled him to go through his fatigues; and I should have done more still, but for the ball and Mary-I have promised to dance with Mary!"

:

Princess Mary made her first appearance at Court to-day she looked most interesting and unaffectedly lovely: she is a sweet creature, and perhaps, in point of beauty, the first of this truly beautiful race, of which Princess Mary may be called pendant to the Prince of Wales.

Champagne being now brought for the Duke, he ordered it all round. When it came to me I whispered to Westerhaults to carry it on: the Duke slapped his hand violently on the table, and called out, "O, by

shall drink it!"

-, you

There was no resisting this. We all stood up, and the Duke sonorously gave the Royal toast.

"And now," cried he, making us all sit down again, "where are my rascals of servants? I sha'n't be in time for the ball; besides, I've got a deuced tailor waiting to fix on my epaulette! Here, you, go and see for my servants! d'ye hear? Scamper off!"

Off ran William.

"Come, let's have the King's health again. De Luc, drink it. Here, Champagne to De Luc!"

I wish you could have seen Mr. De Luc's mixed simper-half pleased, half alarmed. However, the wine came and he drank it, the Duke taking a bumper for himself at the same time.

"Poor Stanhope!" cried he; "Stanhope shall have a glass too! Here, Champagne! what are you all about? Why don't you give Champagne to poor Stanhope?"

Mr. Stanhope, with great pleasure, complied, and the Duke again accompanied him.

"Come hither, do you hear?" cried the Duke to the servants; and on the approach, slow and submissive, of Mrs. Stainforth's man, he hit him a violent slap on the back, calling out, "Hang you! why don't you see for my rascals?"

Away flew the man, and then he called out to Westerhaults, "Hark'ee! bring another glass of Champagne to Mr. De. Luc!"

Mr. De Luc knows these Royal youths too well to venture at so vain an experiment as disputing with them; so he only shrugged his shoulders and drank the wine. The Duke did the same.

"And now, poor Stanhope," cried the Duke; "give another glass to poor Stanhope, d'ye hear?"

"Is not your Royal Highness afraid," cried Mr. Stanhope, displaying the full circle of his borrowed teeth," I shall be apt to be rather up in the world, as the folks say, if I tope on at this rate?"

"Not at all! you can't get drunk in a better cause. I'd get drunk my. self if it was not for the ball. Here, Champagne! another glass for the philosopher! I keep sober for Mary."

"O, your Royal Highness!" cried Mr. De Luc, gaining courage as he drank, "you will make me quite droll of it if you make me go on,-quite droll !"

"So much the better! so much the better! it will do you a monstrous deal of good. Here, another glass of Champagne for the Queen's philosopher!"

Mr. De Luc obeyed, and the Duke then addressed Mrs. Schwellenbe g's

George. "Here! you! you! why, where is my carriage? run and see, do you hear!"

Off hurried George, grinning irrepressibly.

"If it was not for that deuced tailor, I would not stir. I shall dine at the Queen's house on Monday, Miss Goldsworthy; I shall come to dine with Princess Royal. I find she does not go to Windsor with the Queen."

The Queen meant to spend one day at Windsor, on account of a review which carried the King that way.

Some talk then ensued upon the Duke's new carriage, which they all agreed to be the most beautiful that day at Court. I had not seen it, which, to me, was some impediment against praising it.

He then said it was necessary to drink the Queen's health.

The gentlemen here made no demur, though Mr. De Luc arched his eyebrows in expressive fear of consequences.

"A bumper," cried the Duke, "to the Queen's gentleman-usher." They all stood up and drank the Queen's health.

"Here are three of us," cried the Duke, "all belonging to the Queen; the Queen's philosopher, the Queen's gentleman-usher, and the Queen's son ; but, thank Heaven, I'm nearest !"

"Sir," cried Mr. Stanhope, a little affronted, "I am not now the Queen's gentleman-usher; I am the Queen's equerry, sir."

"A glass more of Champagne here! What are you all so slow for? Where are all my rascals gone? They've put me in one passion already this morning. Come, a glass of Champagne for the Queen's gentlemanusher!" laughing heartily.

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No, sir," repeated Mr. Stanhope; "I am equerry now, sir."

"And another glass to the Queen's philosopher !"

Neither gentleman objected; but Mrs. Schwellenberg, who had sat laughing and happy all this time, now grew alarmed, and said, "Your Royal Highness, I am afraid for the ball!"

"Hold you your potato-jaw, my dear," cried the Duke, patting her; but, recollecting himself, he took her hand and pretty abruptly kissed it, and then, flinging it hastily away, laughed aloud, and called out, "There! that will make amends for anything, so now I may say what I will. So here! a glass of Champagne for the Queen's philosopher and the Queen's gentleman-usher! Hang me if it will not do them a monstrous deal of good!" Here news was brought that the equipage was in order. He started up, calling out, "Now, then, for my deuced tailor."

"O, your Royal Highness!" cried Mr. De Luc, in a tone of expostulation, " now you have made us droll, you go!"

Off, however, he went. And is it not a curious scene? All my amaze is, how any of their heads bore such libations.

In the evening I had by no means strength to encounter the ball-room. I gave my tickets to Mrs. and Miss Douglass.

Mrs. Stainforth was dying to see the Princess Mary in her Court dress. Mr. Stanhope offered to conduct her to a place of prospect. She went with him. I thought this preferable to an unbroken evening with my fair companion, and, Mr. De Luc thinking the same, we both left Mrs. Schwellenberg to unattire, and followed. But we were rather in a scrape by trusting to Mr. Stanhope after all this Champagne: he had carried Mrs. Stainforth to the very door of the ball-room, and there fixed her-in a place which the King, Queen, and suite must brush past in order to enter the ball-room. I had followed, however, and the crowds of beef-eaters, officers, and guards that lined all the state-rooms through which we exhibited ourselves, pre

vented my retreating alone. I stood, therefore, next to Mrs. Stainforth, and

saw the ceremony.

The passage was made so narrow by attendants, that they were all forced to go one by one. First, all the King's great state-officers, amongst whom I recognised Lord Courtown, Treasurer of the Household; Lord Salisbury carried a candle !-'tis an odd etiquette. These being passed, came the King-he saw us and laughed; then the Queen's Master of the Horse, Lord Harcourt, who did ditto; then some more.

The Vice-Chamberlain carries the Queen's candle, that she may have the arm of the Lord Chamberlain to lean on; accordingly, Lord Aylesbury, receiving that honour, now preceded the Queen: she looked amazed at sight of us. The kind Princesses one by one acknowledged us. I spoke to sweet Princess Mary, wishing her royal Highness joy; she looked in a delight and an alarm nearly equal. She was to dance her first minuet. Then followed the Ladies of the Bedchamber, and Lady Harcourt was particularly civil. Then the Maids of Honour, every one of whom knew and spoke to us. I peered vainly for the Duke of Clarence, but none of the Princes passed us. What a crowd brought up the rear! I was vexed not to see the Prince of Wales.

Well, God bless the King! and many and many such days may he know! I was now so tired as to be eager to go back; but the Queen's philosopher, the good and most sober and temperate of men, was really a little giddy with all his bumpers, and his eyes, which were quite lustrous, could not fix any object steadily: while the poor gentleman-usher-equerry, I mean-kept his mouth so wide open with one continued grin,—I suppose from the sparkling beverage, that I was every minute afraid its pearly ornaments, which never fit their case, would have fallen at our feet. Mrs. Stainforth gave me a significant look of making the same observation, and, catching me fast by the arm, said, "Come, Miss Burney, let's you and I take care of one another;" and then she safely toddled me back to Mrs. Schwellenberg, who greeted us with saying, "Vel! bin you much amused? Dat Prince Villiam-oders de Duke de Clarence-bin raelly ver merry-oders vat you call tipsy."

Brief must be my attempt at the remnant of this month, my dearest friends; for it was spent in so much difficulty, pain, and embarrassment, that I should have very little to relate that you could have any pleasure to hear; and I am weary of dwelling on evils that now, when I write, are past! I thank God!

JUNE 5TH.-The day following the birthday, you cannot be surprised to hear that I was really very ill. I stood with such infinite difficulty in the Queen's presence at noon that I was obliged to be dismissed, and to go to bed in the middle of the day. I soon got better, however, and again attended in the evening, and in a few days I was much the same as before the gala. My orders, which I punctually obeyed, of informing no one of my impending departure, were extremely painful to adhere to, as almost every body I saw advised me strenuously to beg leave of absence to recruit, and pressed so home to me the necessity of taking some step for my health, that I was reduced to a thousand unpleasant evasions in my answers. But I was bound; and I never disengage myself from bonds imposed by others, if once I have agreed to them.

Mr. Turbulent at this time outstayed the tea-party one evening, not for his former rhodomontading, but to seriously and earnestly advise me to resign. My situation, he said, was evidently death to me.

He was eager to inquire of me who was Mrs. Lenox? He had been